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Observation for August 31 2018

Friday 31 August 2018, I sat as I often do, but this afternoon was different! There was a moment of recognition as I gazed out at the view from our apartment building I saw something that left me shaken and changed me forever! I saw a painting! The city that sprawled out before my eyes was beautiful beyond description and allowed my eyes to take in the grays.....there are many, many shades of grey......we are taught about life being black or white and yes, there are many black and white issues not open for debate and not open for discussion, there are many shades of grey and life is in  fact art! To write this sounds bizarre as most of my writing, but my brain is exceptional for it thinks entirely for itself! The programming is being slowly day by day transformed and with the help of those that dance into my life and inspire me and shake me awake, the mind is transformed and what was and is and what is to be is something that holds fear, but in that fear is a sense of knowing all will be well. I have made it here to this spectacular view overlooking a city that never sleeps and who knows where tomorrow might lead, what doors will be opened and what doors will be slammed shut, its the not knowing that holds fear and it's the not knowing that makes me stand and push forward. WE shall overcome. Freedom of choice, freedom to think, feel and experience will and cannot ever be controlled. It's a sick hopeless fantasy that will die a death of violence and resentment. There will be cursing against those that walk in self determination and there will be hatred, this is expected and it will be returned with sarcasm, mockery and grim determination; all the while we shall cling to the hope, determined to embrace freedom of expression and communication and the lies and deceit exposed will disintegrate when compared to truth, for truth stands and does not blush!
Before moving to this floor, my view was restricted and I felt confused, claustrophobic, the city overwhelmed me with it;s intensity and unable to adjust, I hid from the world outside, not bothering to draw the curtains and let the light shine in to my world.
          Moving to the higher floor gave me a clear view of the city, looking out at the ocean in the distance and the mountains peeking behind towering apartment complexes.  This is the city of no space....here we literally tramp on the toes of those around us and traffic is a nightmare. Yet somehow as I sit and gaze out, there is only art! The grey that matches with black and the grey that compliments brown and the white/grey of the cement......the laundry that hangs and thick humid air alive with the smell of the ocean as traffic continues to churn and churn while horns blare as impatience rattles fragile nerves.  This is a city of pain and agony, a city on the brink of prosperity and a city that suffers an identity crisis. Catholic, Muslim and Extremists all practice and co-exist, it's rich in culture brought here from all over the world.  This is a city for lovers, dreamers, workers and a city that has little or no place left to grow. Prices here are extreme, this is no place for a budget, this is paradise for spenders and no place for me.  This is not my home, I am visiting here and this place is kind to visitors, gracious to their guests and hospitable but not without expecting appreciation in the form of good, solid tipping.  I am not here by choice, but I am here and what my eyes see, my mind is devouring and my soul is engraving.  I look and listen to the world and I wonder and worry and pray. I pray for the sick, the dying, the lonely and then my eyes are drawn to the hills and the churches and the Crosses that stand out towering over the city and I wonder: do we realize the meaning of those Crosses and when we out shopping, partying and socializing, do we carry the Cross with us?
Music is a big love and today while listening to "Lady Antebellum Hey Bartender" I realized why Jesus would not approve of this song! See, I would be the first to be in that bar, drinking tequila, dancing away and erasing the man who wronged me from my mind, it's a good song! Only here's the thing! Jesus did not die so I could drink tequila, surrendering my power to the music, the bar and the spirit that dwells there. He died so I could drink tequila and get on my knees and spend some time with Him. Hanging out with Jesus is what we supposed to do and do it as often as we please. There's no strings attached and no hidden agenda, he takes us as we are! Jesus does not share! We either belong entirely to HIM or we do not belong at all! He didn't create conditions and he does not negotiate and neither does He compromise! It's all or nothing. The decision is ours. We can feel overwhelmed in life, take it to Jesus! We can feel broken.....that's okay Jesus knows how to heal! We can hurt and want to end our lives, but Jesus is our reason for living! We don't need a bar tender, we have an awesome friend! You can look to put your faith in money, people, places, objects and just plain stuff.....but your heart, mind and Soul belongs to Jesus Christ. This city is a city of art, this place is alive with the pulse of pure energy......right now the energy is harnessed and focused at material possessions.....possession is 9 tenths of the law. Give Jesus full possession of you and watch how everything changes....everything begins to align.....oh the challenges are higher, the attacks fiercer and the determination to break us..focused! Nothing worth having comes easy!
What do you see when you gaze out from the window and what do you want? Jesus is the answer, no matter the question! There is always only one answer!
Have a blessed, prosperous September!
May God be with you and guide you and lead us always +++
Thank you Jesus for the awesome thoughts, realizations and awareness You pour into my being!

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