What is the cost of life? #banabortion

There is nothing easy about love. Perhaps a pause, should be given to the concept of love. What is love?

1 Cor. 13

1Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. 4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 11When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 13And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

Interesting that charity be equated with love. Faith. Hope. Love. 

To breathe when everything inside of us is raging. To stand calm in the midst of the storm and the only way is never surrender your sword. I asked God to please explain the sword. Jesus is not violence, He is pure calm, peace.  So why would we need a sword? Because trust me, no matter how shiny and brilliant the armor, without a sword you will be attacked. 

I did not take my Bible to church, I could not find my glasses, I left my sword and went defenseless. Your guns stop them from coming for you. They most certainly have no interest in meeting death, it's to us, the cattle, gun control is imperative. What manifests in the spiritual world manifests in the physical and so our sword, the Word, The Truth, The Way and The Light is under attack, read the word, feast on the word this is mandatory.. I would have handled my week so beautifully, so differently, if I just ate of the Word of God. 

Every need I have is met and lives in the pages of The Bible (basic instructions before leaving Earth) we on a journey and this is not about our bank accounts, it's not about money or possessions and yet, all of us are walking around possessed either by the Spirit of God that lives within us or the opposition. Standing calm and in control as a raging storm threatens to consume us is perhaps unimaginable, however The Truth knows to Be Still and wait and listen and choose a response, many times silence itself is the response. Love walks hand in hand with forgiveness. I have yet to find them separated, where there is love, there is forgiveness. 

Here I stood completely unprepared for the nuclear bomb which would threaten to destroy me while my Bible lay gathering dust on the shelf and I stayed trapped and caught in a world of anger, confusion and shame. 

Beware the Ides of March.......

Wednesday March, 1, 2023 was a day of thoughtfulness, my dad passed away on March 1, 1996 and he was in his fifth year, a young man, my world gone too soon. Thursday March 2 2023, I discovered the song by Cat Stevens: If you want to sing and this song led me to Elvis and 50 songs later I was in a good mood. As Friday drifted in, the phone call from our daughter was welcomed and we sat down to spend over an hour with her on the cell phone and it's quite incredible how what seemed to be a quite life was anything but quite. The details of the phone call I will unpack at another point in time, what destroyed me was the casual way, she told us that she guessed we already knew about her three abortions. 

Panic raised through me, three abortions, when? Yes, we knew about one abortion, but three? Having just turned 34 years old, three abortions. My mind froze, I felt panic, I needed to end the call, but there was no escape, she continued on about her life and my husband and I listened to the sobbing and the anguish in her voice, she was desperately in love with someone who loved her once, but seemed to have moved on and she was distraught. We calmed her down with a promise of a plane ticket and a visit to come and see us only this was never her agenda. Saturday. I poured out my pain and grief in singing all the sad songs I could, how had this happened, who has three abortions? Sunday 5 March 2023 would turn out to be another memorable day. Then came Monday 6 March 2023. I received a message via social media and as I responded I knew what I was saying was not correct, I deleted two of the messages and then she called me. I had no prayed, not read my Bible and was unprepared for the conversation. 

Turned out our daughter had no intention of coming to visit, but she had just posted on social media asking for a plane ticket. Astonished I informed her that she would not be travelling to the country she mentioned as she did not speak the language and although she needed a break, visiting her sister would add stress to her sister already struggling to make ends meet. Then I asked her if she had a plan or did she just intend to have an abortion every time she found herself pregnant. She began wailing about how she had not been to a doctor in years and could not afford birth control and she was alone. This was my tipping point and here is where I began screaming at her, never not once has my step daughter not had my full support and we have always done everything to assist her. I screamed at her that she was a murderer, I will forever be ashamed of myself.  We ended the call and for two days I sobbed uncontrollably. Then Wednesday I sat down and googled abortion clinics in Cape Town. 

https://www.mariestopes.org.za/our-centres/cape-town/

I found a clinic that operates on watsup and it's so easy. First I tried to call, but my call went unanswered and then I sent them a watsup message. 

"I need an abortion"

"How far along are you?"

Ï am not sure"

"When was your last period"

I had to think, what was the right answer? 

"Two months ago"

I was told I would need two sets of pills and the second set was a womb cleaner the cost

R700.00'

"My friend told me it was free?" I asked

"Go to the government hospital"

Came the reply. 

I was stunned. This is a glorified drug deal, they selling pills to kill babies and it's got nothing to do with women's right, it's a drug deal. Straight plain and simple. Within an hour of adding the clinics number to my phone, my phone was destroyed in a savage display of rage, by my husband, who really looks after our cell phones and I knew God was telling me how angry He is about abortion. Where once my phone had worked, it now lay lifeless, dead and useless. My daughter is not a murderer, she is merely buying drugs to solve a man made problem and God is very very angry about every baby that is killed and you all know you are killing babies. 

There's no contact, no counselling, no one cares but there are pills that will take that precious life away and we have to stop the drugs. Abortion is nothing but drug dealing and we have no idea what is going on in the world around us. I need to apologize to my daughter, my words still replay over and over in my mind. Murderer! Only she is a victim along with our grandchildren, three precious babies gone because of pills and drugs. What's the cost of a life? 

R700.00 South African rands.