White Feathers whispering , (the birth):
It's been a long hard 49 years, millions of theories, opinions and questions, finding there are always more questions than answers! This is the way it must be, for in order for humanity to be birthed, live, thrive, grow and become, always becoming, transforming, shaping and creating, mercury flowing throw the veins driving us.......we are the planets of our solo system, solo.....but what's in a name! I love the name David and then you are surprised when he fights for what he treasures, the power and destiny of a name! December 2018 will be for me, the year of my coming undone! What an idiot and fool I have been for hitting my head against the brick wall for 49 years and all those tears I wasted, I wasted crying because I failed you, failed to meet your expectation of me, when I failed to reach your standards. It took just two weeks to take a life time of people pleasing and within two weeks, the illusion and desire lay shattered and discarded, finally after all these years; I asked myself what the hell are you doing? I think I was always a people-pleaser, from as early as I can recall, every rejection was bitter and stab almost fatal to the heart, for I longed to be with the ones I loved, I remember watching the way my mother's eyes would light up or shutdown and the darkness of her displeasure would rob me of my will to live. We all have mother issues. Instead of embarrassing each other, we will see each other as a threat, jealousy, misunderstanding, confrontation, regret wipes away and steals the awesome moments, hugs, smiles and laughter. I lost myself in trying to win the love of everyone around me, by pleasing them while they grew fat and lazy on my efforts and although I saw, knew and acknowledged their theft, for they were stealing from me, they taking my love, my worry, my concern and everything that comes with it and they giving nothing in return and I am frustrated and tired with myself for feeling so helpless, where did my power go and did it ever exist and why don't they care about me? When is someone going to care about me?
Who Are you?
You neglected yourself to the point of almost complete and utter indifference; I made myself insignificant to myself. I built my happiness on making others happy by crushing their problems and wiping away their tears and paying off their debt and giving in ways that I should be horsewhipped. I shamelessly allowed the feeding frenzy and now that my eyes have opened and I am upset because I can see what I have done, means it's my fault! I permitted the situation and there is no excuses. No running away. At 49 I am ready to stand the test of bullshit and I am done entertaining evil, nasty, disgusting trash which we find ourselves speaking on a daily basis.
I AM NOT YOUR ENEMY
We stand beside each other, some a little ahead, some trail behind, but we do not oppose each other. Look at the irony of The Blacklist. It's Lizzie's story, her's and hers alone well okay so add Red, but it's her story and now she is dead and Tom her useless betraying husband steals the show. I am currently in Season 3! How the hell did you manage to think you could kill Elizabeth Keen? They lying to all of us, they using this women's liberation movement where we degrade, shame and belittle ourselves when it's all for a show, a distraction, it's a man's world darling. It all ways was and it's the spear that pierced the heart. The Blacklist.
Who's on their blacklist? Mothers? Manners? Nurturing. Conceiving. Creating. Life. Sounds pretty much like the female species is under attack and don't get me wrong, our males are just as confused. Drugs will do that to a brilliant mind that when attached to Source, Creation, Love and All Possibility is Love and anything that opposes this withers, fades and dies. Hatred suffocates the body, mind and soul. My complete and utter bewilderment that those I trusted and stood beside, supported and defended would turn their back on me within a second and they did and I absorbed it and it was necessary, I needed to find me.
First I got mad as hell and then I felt betrayed and I felt used and then I grew up and had to admit that the only person I have continued to hurt, fail and defeat is myself and that's the honest truth. You can cut your heart out for another, but if you have no respect for yourself, for what is the purpose of your action, or desired action, why are you pleasing people, you want to feel needed, why don't you feel needed, because I was never truly needed. I never needed me until Saturday morning.
The following is an exact account of what occurred.
The piece of potato lodged in my throat and as I stood in my kitchen, staring at the taps and the various dishes that waited to be washed, rinsed and returned to their respective places; I stood there, gasping for air. A small amount managed to sneak past the potato, phlegm and gunk, Bronchitis is not much fun. They say aloe is vile, well this medication surely is related, it's the most horrific stuff to digest, but the effects is miraculous. I stood there gasping for air. Nowhere to go, no one to call, and the panic was silenced, my mind began a conversation within me, do not panic, stand still, the potato is soft and the throat will break it down. That's right, they push a pipe down the throat for medical procedures, what's a soft piece of potato, it will be okay, no I am going to die. This is where they will find me, right here on the kitchen floor. I do a stupid thing and reaching for a glass add water from the tap and try to force the potato down......I can't explain the following seconds, it was mad crazy insane panic because I lost the ability to breathe, wet myself and felt the potato give way and vanish. I stood there sucking in air and drenched in pee, clenching the sink asked myself, do you realize you nearly died here today. Surreal and in shock my day passed and this all happened yesterday and tonight as I sat on the sofa and realized once again there was a situation where my decision ability had placed my life in serious jeopardy, tonight I realized that I matter to me.
It doesn't matter if I am needed or not needed, if my opinion is required or not considered, I require my opinion. I don't have to be disappointed with myself any longer for conflicting decisions made for reasons that betray me.
I stand here and look at my hair and instead of seeing wild untidiness, I see feathers and know that given enough time to grow, when styled, my hair will be beautiful. I am beautiful. I am beautiful because when I look at you I don't care about anything that you think I judge you on, I look at you with respect, love, kindness and concern. I have a beautiful soul and I almost allowed this horrible cruel world to destroy me. I nearly gave up, instead I had to give in and turn to me, when there was only me, I did not break, I did not crumble, my mind stayed focused and I survived. I am stronger than I believed, I thought you could break my heart and wound my feelings, and say things to shatter me, when I was alone, God stepped up as He always does and He carries me. He is my footsteps, He is my path, my vision, my truth and my life. I bow to the living God of all Creation, Our Father who Art in Heaven.....THY KINGDOM COME...THY WILL BE DONE!! We will know the voice of our Messiah, we will know Him and all will be as it needs to be.
You ARE Beautiful, my prayer and wish for you is to find freedom, love and encourage each other. WE burn stronger when we stand as One and as they bring fire to our homes, the fire of truth will set us free! We are Truth and We shine for Jesus! There's no compromise.
Build the temple inside your soul! For the Kingdom of God lies within us! We Are The Temple!
This is a whole new year and a whole new ball game. Welcome to Life, now live it well!
The Blacklist Vs The WishList
“If wishes were fishes, we'd all cast nets.” --― Frank Herbert, The Dune Storybook goodreads.com/quotes/…Also, If wishes were fishes and cattle were kings, the world would be full of wonderful things "According to my source, Wordsworth Dictionary of Proverbs, pg 637, it really goes back further to, If wishes were thrushes beggers would eat birds. That was in 1605, ..." doctoroz.com/blog/bill-larson/if-wishes-were-fishes – Kris Jul 24 '14 at 8:38
No! We would not all cast nets, for we wish with whimsical laziness, believing and accepting that wishes don't come true. There's no power in a wish. We would not cast nets, we would sit on the shore and die of starvation. The Blacklist, The Wishlist, The Power Point Presentation of a lifetime, could not open our eyes until we gaze at our lives and remove ourselves from the picture. We make no difference if we have not made a difference to ourselves, we have changed, evolved, transformed and grown and become, and now all that is worth fighting for and all that is beautiful we plan to hand over to Artificial Intelligence, because logic is so damn reliable!
We need more wishlists and bucketlists and fuckit lists and have fun and live lists!
For now YOU ARE ALIVE....For Now!
It's been a long hard 49 years, millions of theories, opinions and questions, finding there are always more questions than answers! This is the way it must be, for in order for humanity to be birthed, live, thrive, grow and become, always becoming, transforming, shaping and creating, mercury flowing throw the veins driving us.......we are the planets of our solo system, solo.....but what's in a name! I love the name David and then you are surprised when he fights for what he treasures, the power and destiny of a name! December 2018 will be for me, the year of my coming undone! What an idiot and fool I have been for hitting my head against the brick wall for 49 years and all those tears I wasted, I wasted crying because I failed you, failed to meet your expectation of me, when I failed to reach your standards. It took just two weeks to take a life time of people pleasing and within two weeks, the illusion and desire lay shattered and discarded, finally after all these years; I asked myself what the hell are you doing? I think I was always a people-pleaser, from as early as I can recall, every rejection was bitter and stab almost fatal to the heart, for I longed to be with the ones I loved, I remember watching the way my mother's eyes would light up or shutdown and the darkness of her displeasure would rob me of my will to live. We all have mother issues. Instead of embarrassing each other, we will see each other as a threat, jealousy, misunderstanding, confrontation, regret wipes away and steals the awesome moments, hugs, smiles and laughter. I lost myself in trying to win the love of everyone around me, by pleasing them while they grew fat and lazy on my efforts and although I saw, knew and acknowledged their theft, for they were stealing from me, they taking my love, my worry, my concern and everything that comes with it and they giving nothing in return and I am frustrated and tired with myself for feeling so helpless, where did my power go and did it ever exist and why don't they care about me? When is someone going to care about me?
Who Are you?
You neglected yourself to the point of almost complete and utter indifference; I made myself insignificant to myself. I built my happiness on making others happy by crushing their problems and wiping away their tears and paying off their debt and giving in ways that I should be horsewhipped. I shamelessly allowed the feeding frenzy and now that my eyes have opened and I am upset because I can see what I have done, means it's my fault! I permitted the situation and there is no excuses. No running away. At 49 I am ready to stand the test of bullshit and I am done entertaining evil, nasty, disgusting trash which we find ourselves speaking on a daily basis.
I AM NOT YOUR ENEMY
We stand beside each other, some a little ahead, some trail behind, but we do not oppose each other. Look at the irony of The Blacklist. It's Lizzie's story, her's and hers alone well okay so add Red, but it's her story and now she is dead and Tom her useless betraying husband steals the show. I am currently in Season 3! How the hell did you manage to think you could kill Elizabeth Keen? They lying to all of us, they using this women's liberation movement where we degrade, shame and belittle ourselves when it's all for a show, a distraction, it's a man's world darling. It all ways was and it's the spear that pierced the heart. The Blacklist.
Who's on their blacklist? Mothers? Manners? Nurturing. Conceiving. Creating. Life. Sounds pretty much like the female species is under attack and don't get me wrong, our males are just as confused. Drugs will do that to a brilliant mind that when attached to Source, Creation, Love and All Possibility is Love and anything that opposes this withers, fades and dies. Hatred suffocates the body, mind and soul. My complete and utter bewilderment that those I trusted and stood beside, supported and defended would turn their back on me within a second and they did and I absorbed it and it was necessary, I needed to find me.
First I got mad as hell and then I felt betrayed and I felt used and then I grew up and had to admit that the only person I have continued to hurt, fail and defeat is myself and that's the honest truth. You can cut your heart out for another, but if you have no respect for yourself, for what is the purpose of your action, or desired action, why are you pleasing people, you want to feel needed, why don't you feel needed, because I was never truly needed. I never needed me until Saturday morning.
The following is an exact account of what occurred.
The piece of potato lodged in my throat and as I stood in my kitchen, staring at the taps and the various dishes that waited to be washed, rinsed and returned to their respective places; I stood there, gasping for air. A small amount managed to sneak past the potato, phlegm and gunk, Bronchitis is not much fun. They say aloe is vile, well this medication surely is related, it's the most horrific stuff to digest, but the effects is miraculous. I stood there gasping for air. Nowhere to go, no one to call, and the panic was silenced, my mind began a conversation within me, do not panic, stand still, the potato is soft and the throat will break it down. That's right, they push a pipe down the throat for medical procedures, what's a soft piece of potato, it will be okay, no I am going to die. This is where they will find me, right here on the kitchen floor. I do a stupid thing and reaching for a glass add water from the tap and try to force the potato down......I can't explain the following seconds, it was mad crazy insane panic because I lost the ability to breathe, wet myself and felt the potato give way and vanish. I stood there sucking in air and drenched in pee, clenching the sink asked myself, do you realize you nearly died here today. Surreal and in shock my day passed and this all happened yesterday and tonight as I sat on the sofa and realized once again there was a situation where my decision ability had placed my life in serious jeopardy, tonight I realized that I matter to me.
It doesn't matter if I am needed or not needed, if my opinion is required or not considered, I require my opinion. I don't have to be disappointed with myself any longer for conflicting decisions made for reasons that betray me.
I stand here and look at my hair and instead of seeing wild untidiness, I see feathers and know that given enough time to grow, when styled, my hair will be beautiful. I am beautiful. I am beautiful because when I look at you I don't care about anything that you think I judge you on, I look at you with respect, love, kindness and concern. I have a beautiful soul and I almost allowed this horrible cruel world to destroy me. I nearly gave up, instead I had to give in and turn to me, when there was only me, I did not break, I did not crumble, my mind stayed focused and I survived. I am stronger than I believed, I thought you could break my heart and wound my feelings, and say things to shatter me, when I was alone, God stepped up as He always does and He carries me. He is my footsteps, He is my path, my vision, my truth and my life. I bow to the living God of all Creation, Our Father who Art in Heaven.....THY KINGDOM COME...THY WILL BE DONE!! We will know the voice of our Messiah, we will know Him and all will be as it needs to be.
You ARE Beautiful, my prayer and wish for you is to find freedom, love and encourage each other. WE burn stronger when we stand as One and as they bring fire to our homes, the fire of truth will set us free! We are Truth and We shine for Jesus! There's no compromise.
Build the temple inside your soul! For the Kingdom of God lies within us! We Are The Temple!
This is a whole new year and a whole new ball game. Welcome to Life, now live it well!
The Blacklist Vs The WishList
“If wishes were fishes, we'd all cast nets.” --― Frank Herbert, The Dune Storybook goodreads.com/quotes/…Also, If wishes were fishes and cattle were kings, the world would be full of wonderful things "According to my source, Wordsworth Dictionary of Proverbs, pg 637, it really goes back further to, If wishes were thrushes beggers would eat birds. That was in 1605, ..." doctoroz.com/blog/bill-larson/if-wishes-were-fishes – Kris Jul 24 '14 at 8:38
No! We would not all cast nets, for we wish with whimsical laziness, believing and accepting that wishes don't come true. There's no power in a wish. We would not cast nets, we would sit on the shore and die of starvation. The Blacklist, The Wishlist, The Power Point Presentation of a lifetime, could not open our eyes until we gaze at our lives and remove ourselves from the picture. We make no difference if we have not made a difference to ourselves, we have changed, evolved, transformed and grown and become, and now all that is worth fighting for and all that is beautiful we plan to hand over to Artificial Intelligence, because logic is so damn reliable!
We need more wishlists and bucketlists and fuckit lists and have fun and live lists!
For now YOU ARE ALIVE....For Now!
blacklist
/ˈblaklɪst/
noun
- 1.a list of people or things that are regarded as unacceptable or untrustworthy and should be excluded or avoided.
"he was placed on a blacklist which meant he was unable to get credit"
verb
- 1.put on a blacklist.
"workers were blacklisted after being quoted in the newspaper"
sMoonwalker, a member of the Miami Tribe of Oklahoma, makes smudge fans and carves a feather in the fringe of her medicine bags. From Moonwalker:
Prayer FeathersNative Americans believed prayers and messages were carried to the Great Spirit on the wings of eagles and other fine birds.Prayer feathers, either single or bundled are used by an individual to offer a prayer to the Great Spirit. The feathers carry your words, thoughts and feelings to the Great Spirit. Each time you look at your prayer feather, your prayers are again sent in your behalf to the Great Spirit in the Heavens.Prayer feathers may be used for smudging or cleansing with smoke. The smoke is fanned in the 6 directions East, West, North, South, Earth and Sky cleansing an object, person or thought to the Great Spirit. Sage, cedar, sweet grass, even incense can be used for smudging.Some personal rituals include singing while praying. It is believed singing is one way to speak with the grandfathers as well as the Great Spirit.WIPACI (Thank you) Moonwalkerynonyms:boycott, ostracize, avoid, embargo, put/place an embargo on, consider undesirable, steer clear of, ignore; More
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